I haven't written in a year. That makes me sad. This has been the best year of my life (so far). It pains me to think I didn't give it proper documentation.
I've been on a spiritual rollercoaster, but not so much the loops and plummets, more like being on a relaxing incline, strapped in listening to the slow tick of my ascent.
I am very excited even thinking of grabbing a hold of my recent revelations and wrestling them down into words to share with others. I pray that God grants me the ability to illuminate each story with the same passion I had when I first stumbled upon His character, His love, His overall goodness, grace and His commands for my life.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
O taste and see.
GOD CAN BE KNOWN IN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
It isn't something I just say and cross my fingers that it will happen and with my eyes wide open I began to read scripture after scripture, list after list of see me, hear me, taste me, smell me, touch me. It is sprinkled throughout The Word. I couldn't keep up with all the information that was coming across my plate. It was a beautiful mess of scribbles in margins and highlighted verses.
The real tragedy can be expressed best straight from the mouth of Tozer, “For millions of Christians, God is no more real than He is to the non-Christian. They go through life trying to love an ideal and be loyal to a mere principle.”
We are starving for personal experience. We long to see, hear and touch what is good. He will give you all the tools you need to know him in a very real way. Your prayer will fall sweetly on His ears, His Word will not return void in your life.
It isn't something I just say and cross my fingers that it will happen and with my eyes wide open I began to read scripture after scripture, list after list of see me, hear me, taste me, smell me, touch me. It is sprinkled throughout The Word. I couldn't keep up with all the information that was coming across my plate. It was a beautiful mess of scribbles in margins and highlighted verses.
The real tragedy can be expressed best straight from the mouth of Tozer, “For millions of Christians, God is no more real than He is to the non-Christian. They go through life trying to love an ideal and be loyal to a mere principle.”
We are starving for personal experience. We long to see, hear and touch what is good. He will give you all the tools you need to know him in a very real way. Your prayer will fall sweetly on His ears, His Word will not return void in your life.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Ugh.
Witnessing, ugh.
To be brutally honest it’s something I’ve managed to avoid successfully for many years. And I’m not talking about starting debates with non-believers over creation vs. evolution, because that can be done with relatively no humility or grace and for myself, comes from a very prideful place. I’m talking boldly announcing the name of Christ to others. I’ll shout my presidential choice from the rooftops and plaster pictures of my boyfriend all over the place unashamedly. I am a mess without my Savior, but that… that I keep to a whisper.
I’ve used my share of brilliant excuses, to say the least. Is this unsettling to anyone else? I pray this reaches you with a softened heart and a willingness to be convicted to the depths of your being.
I had a day dream, if you will.. this disgustingly convicting image haunts me. My sweet maker is coming to take me home on judgment day and I live every day accordingly. In this revelation, God sketched specific family members, coworkers, acquaintances, and very close friends. He painted every detail of their faces. As I studied each portrait, I heard Him say… “Jen, I love them so much. How much longer are you going to keep Me a secret from them?”
The image turns cold and as I look out into darkness, I hear a cry for help emerge from the once ever so vivid faces.
“Jen, you could have saved me from the wrath that is to come. Why didn’t you tell me?”
And suddenly every excuse I have grasped so tightly, for so long was ripped from my hands.
To be brutally honest it’s something I’ve managed to avoid successfully for many years. And I’m not talking about starting debates with non-believers over creation vs. evolution, because that can be done with relatively no humility or grace and for myself, comes from a very prideful place. I’m talking boldly announcing the name of Christ to others. I’ll shout my presidential choice from the rooftops and plaster pictures of my boyfriend all over the place unashamedly. I am a mess without my Savior, but that… that I keep to a whisper.
I’ve used my share of brilliant excuses, to say the least. Is this unsettling to anyone else? I pray this reaches you with a softened heart and a willingness to be convicted to the depths of your being.
I had a day dream, if you will.. this disgustingly convicting image haunts me. My sweet maker is coming to take me home on judgment day and I live every day accordingly. In this revelation, God sketched specific family members, coworkers, acquaintances, and very close friends. He painted every detail of their faces. As I studied each portrait, I heard Him say… “Jen, I love them so much. How much longer are you going to keep Me a secret from them?”
The image turns cold and as I look out into darkness, I hear a cry for help emerge from the once ever so vivid faces.
“Jen, you could have saved me from the wrath that is to come. Why didn’t you tell me?”
And suddenly every excuse I have grasped so tightly, for so long was ripped from my hands.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Grace story.
I found a picture of four perfectly stacked rocks. At the time, I didn’t understand why this image resounded so magnificently in my soul.
The stones reminded me of a devotion I had done in Matthew 7:25.
“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rocks.”
My grace story could be explained simply and boldly by this image. He is continually molding, teaching, making me more Christ-like. My quest to pursue righteousness will never end. But, I have assurance that with Him as my foundation I will not fall with a great crash.
So this is simply and wonderfully a story of God laying down the foundation for my life:
I shared life with my first living breathing Christian at the ripe age of 19. I could tell this person was different and something inside whispered that I wanted to be like him. So, I studied him. Which lead to me trying Jesus on for size, for nothing else but to get a buzz out of it. But as with every good buzz thus follows a mighty hangover. In my despair, God lead me to a place of absolute repentance and disgust with the way I had been living. I fell and I fell hard. It took me hitting a personal rock bottom to realize I could not do this on my own, by my own will and merit. There was something missing. There had to more than this. This was not an easy transition. I had to deny every part of me. I had to die to myself to embrace what it really meant to live. I was broken. I was lost. I was a sinner in desperate need of a Savior. The first stone was set in place.
After being stripped of my lifestyle, I was immediately given the tools to survive. I had the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and was off to experience life with a redeemer. This was a season in life that I will cherish forever. I had accountability and encouragement fall into my lap. I had friends that invested in my life and my stock soared. I was part of the body of Christ—serving, learning and growing under wise counsel and surrounded by amazing friends. He equipped me with everything I needed to know Him, serve Him and follow Him... the second stone.
Overtime I became comfortable and dare I say, rebellious? I began acting out and deliberating disobeying God. I threw on some old habits and gave into the dark side. But, this time was different than before. Each night I came up void. My heart was heavy. I was empty and alone. I felt the tug to return home and each time I resisted the pull got stronger and harder to deny. I ended up turning from my disobedience, nothing magical, by any means. I couldn’t physically go on sinning any longer. I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore.
In this time of darkness I did a lot of searching for answers. I believed in Jesus. I felt Him in my life, never doubted it. But I had never sorted through the tough questions regarding my faith. I painted a picture of the Jesus I wanted to worship. In this season, I came to know the perfect Son sent to die a literal death for my sins. Though, I didn’t have all the answers… I knew exactly where to find them. And I spent many a day seeking, searching and growing in God’s Word. I craved it like I crave junk food. I needed it more than air. I desired it above all else.
With each day I grew closer in love with God. I finally ‘got’ it. I understood what it meant to live a life sold out for Christ and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I became disciplined with my quiet time. I had a healthy prayer life. I gave up tv, radio and reading anything other than the Bible. I trained myself to toss out the worldview regulations I had grown accustomed to over the course of, well, my entire existence, and I adopted a Biblical worldview. I searched for Truth and thirsted after God’s presence and His wisdom for my life. God destroyed my idols and finally made home in the throne of my heart. He sought after me for so long. This was my long overdue surrender.
First He broke me. Then He equipped me, now He was pursuing me.
It sings so sweetly to my soul, this love. In a season where I chased knowledge I had unknowingly missed out on a vital part… the relationship. God has shown me in the last month what it means to be joyful in spirit; something I have come to believe is directly connected with my relationship in Christ. I am loved and romanced to depths I cannot begin to imagine. My value is found in Christ and Him alone, not in a bank account, in a mirror or in the affections from a boy. And with a revelation like this you can bet Satan is itching to get me on the wrong track. He is constantly trying to rob me of my joy. He feeds me these sweet lies, and even uses my loved ones to confirm such nonsense.
But…
I am made new and no longer broken.
I am equipped to glorify Him; understanding that is exactly and precisely what it is all about.
I am called and pursued; nothing can keep Him from me.
I am romanced; filled with joy and free from the bondage of sin and lies.
God has perfectly set these four stones into place, so I would not crumble under pressure. And because each rock gives support to the next, I am able to stand strong in the face of destruction. I cannot and will not fall with a great crash. Instead, I have heard these words, put them into practice and built my house on rock. For what God builds, no one can undo.
In that foundation, is more grace than I will ever know.
The stones reminded me of a devotion I had done in Matthew 7:25.
“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rocks.”
My grace story could be explained simply and boldly by this image. He is continually molding, teaching, making me more Christ-like. My quest to pursue righteousness will never end. But, I have assurance that with Him as my foundation I will not fall with a great crash.
So this is simply and wonderfully a story of God laying down the foundation for my life:
I shared life with my first living breathing Christian at the ripe age of 19. I could tell this person was different and something inside whispered that I wanted to be like him. So, I studied him. Which lead to me trying Jesus on for size, for nothing else but to get a buzz out of it. But as with every good buzz thus follows a mighty hangover. In my despair, God lead me to a place of absolute repentance and disgust with the way I had been living. I fell and I fell hard. It took me hitting a personal rock bottom to realize I could not do this on my own, by my own will and merit. There was something missing. There had to more than this. This was not an easy transition. I had to deny every part of me. I had to die to myself to embrace what it really meant to live. I was broken. I was lost. I was a sinner in desperate need of a Savior. The first stone was set in place.
After being stripped of my lifestyle, I was immediately given the tools to survive. I had the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and was off to experience life with a redeemer. This was a season in life that I will cherish forever. I had accountability and encouragement fall into my lap. I had friends that invested in my life and my stock soared. I was part of the body of Christ—serving, learning and growing under wise counsel and surrounded by amazing friends. He equipped me with everything I needed to know Him, serve Him and follow Him... the second stone.
Overtime I became comfortable and dare I say, rebellious? I began acting out and deliberating disobeying God. I threw on some old habits and gave into the dark side. But, this time was different than before. Each night I came up void. My heart was heavy. I was empty and alone. I felt the tug to return home and each time I resisted the pull got stronger and harder to deny. I ended up turning from my disobedience, nothing magical, by any means. I couldn’t physically go on sinning any longer. I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore.
In this time of darkness I did a lot of searching for answers. I believed in Jesus. I felt Him in my life, never doubted it. But I had never sorted through the tough questions regarding my faith. I painted a picture of the Jesus I wanted to worship. In this season, I came to know the perfect Son sent to die a literal death for my sins. Though, I didn’t have all the answers… I knew exactly where to find them. And I spent many a day seeking, searching and growing in God’s Word. I craved it like I crave junk food. I needed it more than air. I desired it above all else.
With each day I grew closer in love with God. I finally ‘got’ it. I understood what it meant to live a life sold out for Christ and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I became disciplined with my quiet time. I had a healthy prayer life. I gave up tv, radio and reading anything other than the Bible. I trained myself to toss out the worldview regulations I had grown accustomed to over the course of, well, my entire existence, and I adopted a Biblical worldview. I searched for Truth and thirsted after God’s presence and His wisdom for my life. God destroyed my idols and finally made home in the throne of my heart. He sought after me for so long. This was my long overdue surrender.
First He broke me. Then He equipped me, now He was pursuing me.
It sings so sweetly to my soul, this love. In a season where I chased knowledge I had unknowingly missed out on a vital part… the relationship. God has shown me in the last month what it means to be joyful in spirit; something I have come to believe is directly connected with my relationship in Christ. I am loved and romanced to depths I cannot begin to imagine. My value is found in Christ and Him alone, not in a bank account, in a mirror or in the affections from a boy. And with a revelation like this you can bet Satan is itching to get me on the wrong track. He is constantly trying to rob me of my joy. He feeds me these sweet lies, and even uses my loved ones to confirm such nonsense.
But…
I am made new and no longer broken.
I am equipped to glorify Him; understanding that is exactly and precisely what it is all about.
I am called and pursued; nothing can keep Him from me.
I am romanced; filled with joy and free from the bondage of sin and lies.
God has perfectly set these four stones into place, so I would not crumble under pressure. And because each rock gives support to the next, I am able to stand strong in the face of destruction. I cannot and will not fall with a great crash. Instead, I have heard these words, put them into practice and built my house on rock. For what God builds, no one can undo.
In that foundation, is more grace than I will ever know.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
GIRLS ARE CRAZY.
Girls are crazy.
I’ll never understand it. I pick regular fights with my boyfriend and they all play out like the same bad dream, really. In the dream, I’m running and running straight for a monster cliff, but I’m powerless to control my actions. Everything inside of me yells, ‘hello, you’re headed straight for some serious self-destruction’. But, my body doesn’t seem to care and continues recklessly skipping towards the edge. Right before the plunge, I slip back into consciousness and wonder why or how this ever seemed a good idea. Poor chap.
Judge me for my honesty, if you must, and have mercy for my patient-slow-to-anger boyfriend. This takes an extreme amount of courage and a huge gulp of pride to even write about. My hope is to speak truth to the women. I guess it’s possible that I’m alone in this emotional defeat, but I have to believe in this underground crazy girl circuit. And nobody talks about it, or else will get our pledge’o’sanity card taken away.
“Hi, I’m Jen and I am an emotional mess.”
Dare I say it is a gift from God?
God made us emotional at our very core and it reveals to us a piece of his character—though tragically much has been lost in the translation. God packaged us perfect and balanced. An apple tree later, we arrive in a fallen world with no instructions and unable to return to sender the damaged pieces. This is my attempt to sort through the emotion and find truth in a sea of lies. My desire is to place a healthy understanding of the strength we have in Jesus Christ and use that to not drown our emotions but to recognize it for what it is and go on to defeat the enemy.
I can trace the brokenness back to high school. The desire to be sought after lead me on an exciting game of catch and release that always left me wanting more. I asked of each boy a void that was impossible to fill; a huge undertaking for a movie hero, let alone a high school Casanova. And for whatever reason my heart was “broken” the first time, I carried baggage over to the next and so on and so on, and so on. Some seven years later I realize Satan has learned to use every bit of my dysfunctional youth to destroy anything good I get my hands on. When I was single he would whisper the same sweet lie to me over and over:
You’re too much. You’re not enough. You’re unlovable, unworthy, and WAY too emotional.
And the irony of it all is now that I’m in a relationship, the lies still ring true.
You’re too much. You’re not enough. You’re unlovable, unworthy, and WAY too emotional.
Now I won't excuse the boys as completely innocent. So gentlemen, don’t take this as your ticket to slack off. I believe we live in an era where boys have too easily forgotten the art of pursuit. Men take the role of finding a helpmate with a splash of laziness and a heaping of passivity…shaken not stirred. And in a twisted chain of events girls have become the aggressor, the hunter. The roles have been flipped and everybody loses. But, for the sake of this argument,the emotional battle is ours to conquer… not theirs.
…
I’ve spent a fair share of my life consumed by chick flicks, self-help books and human experiments all trying to figure out the trick--unlocking the key to making a relationship magical and movie-esque—each time losing a piece of my self and my faith in romance. First mistake, I sought after movie love. The thing about movie love is it doesn’t exist for longer than an hour (three if it’s the Titanic). Men aren’t strong communicators and that’s why I would argue they cast men playing actors and not actors playing men. Please don’t brush this off as cynical or anti-men. If anything, I’m trying to help the men out here. If we are always waiting for men to meet us at the top of the Empire State building, we’ll miss the men who want to talk over coffee.
Next problem with movie love would be the lack of Jesus. My relationship is nothing if it doesn’t glorify The Maker. There is a direct connection with my contentness in a relationship and my spiritual walk. So, I’ve boiled it down to this. When my thoughts are vertical and I find my value in Jesus Christ, He fills the void that would otherwise be rendered empty if it were left up to a boy. In a sense, loving Jesus makes it easy for a boy to love me.
I am capable of being loved. I am beautiful. And when I start to believe otherwise I need to recognize it for what it is... a bold face lie. I know this, because if I open up my Bible the truth shouts out from its pages that I am made in the image of God. I am a beautiful creation who already has the love of The Creator. A love that pursues me to depths I cannot comprehend—a powerful love that is made perfect in weakness. If I believe Truth than I understand that God will fill the desires of my heart. It’s a devastating love triangle where He desires me as I desire worldly love and should desire Him. Most importantly when I settle for anything short of God’s love, I will collapse every time… every single earth shattering, heart breaking time.
I’ll never understand it. I pick regular fights with my boyfriend and they all play out like the same bad dream, really. In the dream, I’m running and running straight for a monster cliff, but I’m powerless to control my actions. Everything inside of me yells, ‘hello, you’re headed straight for some serious self-destruction’. But, my body doesn’t seem to care and continues recklessly skipping towards the edge. Right before the plunge, I slip back into consciousness and wonder why or how this ever seemed a good idea. Poor chap.
Judge me for my honesty, if you must, and have mercy for my patient-slow-to-anger boyfriend. This takes an extreme amount of courage and a huge gulp of pride to even write about. My hope is to speak truth to the women. I guess it’s possible that I’m alone in this emotional defeat, but I have to believe in this underground crazy girl circuit. And nobody talks about it, or else will get our pledge’o’sanity card taken away.
“Hi, I’m Jen and I am an emotional mess.”
Dare I say it is a gift from God?
God made us emotional at our very core and it reveals to us a piece of his character—though tragically much has been lost in the translation. God packaged us perfect and balanced. An apple tree later, we arrive in a fallen world with no instructions and unable to return to sender the damaged pieces. This is my attempt to sort through the emotion and find truth in a sea of lies. My desire is to place a healthy understanding of the strength we have in Jesus Christ and use that to not drown our emotions but to recognize it for what it is and go on to defeat the enemy.
I can trace the brokenness back to high school. The desire to be sought after lead me on an exciting game of catch and release that always left me wanting more. I asked of each boy a void that was impossible to fill; a huge undertaking for a movie hero, let alone a high school Casanova. And for whatever reason my heart was “broken” the first time, I carried baggage over to the next and so on and so on, and so on. Some seven years later I realize Satan has learned to use every bit of my dysfunctional youth to destroy anything good I get my hands on. When I was single he would whisper the same sweet lie to me over and over:
You’re too much. You’re not enough. You’re unlovable, unworthy, and WAY too emotional.
And the irony of it all is now that I’m in a relationship, the lies still ring true.
You’re too much. You’re not enough. You’re unlovable, unworthy, and WAY too emotional.
Now I won't excuse the boys as completely innocent. So gentlemen, don’t take this as your ticket to slack off. I believe we live in an era where boys have too easily forgotten the art of pursuit. Men take the role of finding a helpmate with a splash of laziness and a heaping of passivity…shaken not stirred. And in a twisted chain of events girls have become the aggressor, the hunter. The roles have been flipped and everybody loses. But, for the sake of this argument,the emotional battle is ours to conquer… not theirs.
…
I’ve spent a fair share of my life consumed by chick flicks, self-help books and human experiments all trying to figure out the trick--unlocking the key to making a relationship magical and movie-esque—each time losing a piece of my self and my faith in romance. First mistake, I sought after movie love. The thing about movie love is it doesn’t exist for longer than an hour (three if it’s the Titanic). Men aren’t strong communicators and that’s why I would argue they cast men playing actors and not actors playing men. Please don’t brush this off as cynical or anti-men. If anything, I’m trying to help the men out here. If we are always waiting for men to meet us at the top of the Empire State building, we’ll miss the men who want to talk over coffee.
Next problem with movie love would be the lack of Jesus. My relationship is nothing if it doesn’t glorify The Maker. There is a direct connection with my contentness in a relationship and my spiritual walk. So, I’ve boiled it down to this. When my thoughts are vertical and I find my value in Jesus Christ, He fills the void that would otherwise be rendered empty if it were left up to a boy. In a sense, loving Jesus makes it easy for a boy to love me.
I am capable of being loved. I am beautiful. And when I start to believe otherwise I need to recognize it for what it is... a bold face lie. I know this, because if I open up my Bible the truth shouts out from its pages that I am made in the image of God. I am a beautiful creation who already has the love of The Creator. A love that pursues me to depths I cannot comprehend—a powerful love that is made perfect in weakness. If I believe Truth than I understand that God will fill the desires of my heart. It’s a devastating love triangle where He desires me as I desire worldly love and should desire Him. Most importantly when I settle for anything short of God’s love, I will collapse every time… every single earth shattering, heart breaking time.
Monday, November 12, 2007
cliffnotes.
I have been camped out in Genesis and before that the Samuels. I am fascinated beyond words by the lineage of God’s people. I wrote out the family tree to better grasp it. And as I read over and over and over it, I could not shake what seemed to be a minor detail. Why the line of Judah?
Let me do some quick story telling to catch you up. In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. They messed up. Jump down a few generations and we have Noah. Noah was a pretty stand up guy, but everyone around him messed up… messed up so badly God flooded the earth and wiped them out. Then one day Noah got drunk and passed out in a tent naked. One of his sons found him that way and shared the findings with his brothers. A nation was cursed because of it. Noah’s oldest son went on to raise a pretty stand up guy, too. His name was Abram, later known as Abraham; from Abraham through his pride and joy, Isaac, God would enter into a covenant. Isaac has twin boys: Esau, the hairy one and Jacob.
This is good stuff. Jacob is the youngest, but he tricks his old and blind father into passing his blessing onto him. Jacob was shady. Jacob was my favorite. Jacob goes onto make babies, lots of babies… interestingly dysfunctional babies. Jacob was also a romantic. They don’t make many men like Jacob anymore. He saw and fell in love with Rachel (awwww…). Then he worked seven years for Rachel's father to have her hand in marriage. Well Rachel’s daddy tricks him and gives Rachel’s older sister Leah to him instead. But he only has eyes for Rachel, so this crazy man works ANOTHER SEVEN years for her… love it!
Rachel can’t make babies, but Leah is popping out boys like it’s her day job. So Rachel offers up her maidservant, Bilhah, who pops out a couple sons for Jacob. Leah sees this and says, well I’ll give him my maidservant, too. So her maidservant, Zilpah has a couple of boys. Then Leah decides she’s still got it so she has two more baby boys (and a girl Dinah who stirs up some drama later). Then finally 10 baby boys later his beloved Rachel finally has a son, Joseph. And later on has another one named Benjamin. Here are the 12 tribes of Israel…fascinating.
To dive a little deeper.. let’s start with Reuben, the first born to Jacob. He ends up sleeping with Bilhah, one of his brothers’ mothers.
Then we have Simeon and Levi, the big brothers of Dinah. This guy sees Dinah and decides he has to have her, so he sleeps with her. Then he goes to her father and brothers and asks for permission to marry her. The brothers are furious, so the devise this plan against him. They give him their blessing attached to a couple conditions.. not only does he have to get circumcised but his entire village must do the same. Then while the whole town is recovering from their “surgery”, Simeon and Levi go in and destroy everyone insight by sword.
The fourth born, Judah messes up too. This is, to date, one of my favorite Old Testament stories. Judah has three sons; Er, Onan and Shelah. Er marries a girl by the name of Tamar. Then because of Er wickedness God strikes him down. So Tamar is given to Onan in marriage, who is also struck down. So Judah promises his youngest son, Shelah to the twice now widow, Tamar. But Judah doesn’t follow through on this promise. So Tamar pretends to be a prostitute and sleeps with Judah. When Judah hears of his daughter-in-law’s pregnancy he orders her death (not knowing he’s the baby daddy)… SURPRIZE, you ARE the father. So Tamar goes onto have twins (Zerah and Perez). Perez actually sticks his arm out first, but Zerah beats him out. (Birth order was such a big deal back then they fought about it at the ripe age of ZERO..craziness)
Jump a couple sons down to Joseph. Joseph was his daddy’s favorite, because he was born to Rachel (daddy’s other favorite). The brothers hated Joseph so much that they plotted murder, but opted for the less messy, by selling him into slavery. Now even though Joseph was dealt a couple crappy cards (slavery and jailtime, just to name a few) he was a great guy; truly blessed and everything he touched seemed to work out for him. Apparently, he decoded dreams in his spare time, which landed him in control of Egypt. Now from this line, the boys of Jacob; to be more specific, the line of Judah (the fourth born).. came some pretty big names; Boaz, Obed, Jesse, DAVID, Solomon… right on down to Joseph the husband of Mary and father to (insert drumroll) JESUS.
In reading through the Samuels and 1 & 2 Kings, I picked up a few things. David was a man of God’s own heart. That’s huge. I constantly ask myself, what made David so special? He came from the dysfunctional line of Judah and his fake prostitute. He himself commented adultery with Bathsheba and then had her husband murdered to cover it up. Why David? Why the line of Judah?
I’m pulling this out of my memory bank, so it’s a lil fuzzy; but around the time of Solomon (David’s son) the kingdom starts to crumble and under his son Rehoboam the kingdom is divided into Israel and Judah. I’m not sure why, but God continued to bless the house of Judah. The Kings of Israel's rulings were quick, and shady.. they all turn from God. But the kingdom of Judah remains in the family. The kingdom of Israel jumps from person, to person.. never really carrying over more than two generations. Father comes into rule, dies, gives kingdom to son… shortly after the kingdom is taken from the son and so the cycle continues. So why the line of Judah? I was really struggling with this. I knew there had to be something there, but I couldn’t shake it. Why would God pick Judah? Joseph was a nice lad. Why was David so special? He was corrupt, too. Jesus was perfect in every way, why not give him a family tree worth bragging about?
Then a wise man (my boyfriend) gave me a verse that brought everything around full circle. “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” 1 Corinthians 1:27
It all makes perfect sense. Ready for the conclusion to my longwinded epiphany? We wouldn’t know God’s glory if it weren’t for sin. We wouldn’t appreciate His grace, if it had come so easy to the “perfect”. Adam… sinner. Judah… sinner. David… sinner. Solomon… sinner. And so the story continues on down to the authors of the new testament. Disciples.. sinners. Paul… sinner. It makes God’s glory and the perfect life of Jesus Christ shine so bright, I can’t avoid the cheesy light bulb illumination on my face. Why was David so special? David realized the enormity of his inequities and praised God for all of His holiness and righteousness and glory. David desired God, pursued God, praised God despite his own hang-ups. His psalms ring with the cry of the seeker and the glad shout of the finder.
Let me do some quick story telling to catch you up. In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. They messed up. Jump down a few generations and we have Noah. Noah was a pretty stand up guy, but everyone around him messed up… messed up so badly God flooded the earth and wiped them out. Then one day Noah got drunk and passed out in a tent naked. One of his sons found him that way and shared the findings with his brothers. A nation was cursed because of it. Noah’s oldest son went on to raise a pretty stand up guy, too. His name was Abram, later known as Abraham; from Abraham through his pride and joy, Isaac, God would enter into a covenant. Isaac has twin boys: Esau, the hairy one and Jacob.
This is good stuff. Jacob is the youngest, but he tricks his old and blind father into passing his blessing onto him. Jacob was shady. Jacob was my favorite. Jacob goes onto make babies, lots of babies… interestingly dysfunctional babies. Jacob was also a romantic. They don’t make many men like Jacob anymore. He saw and fell in love with Rachel (awwww…). Then he worked seven years for Rachel's father to have her hand in marriage. Well Rachel’s daddy tricks him and gives Rachel’s older sister Leah to him instead. But he only has eyes for Rachel, so this crazy man works ANOTHER SEVEN years for her… love it!
Rachel can’t make babies, but Leah is popping out boys like it’s her day job. So Rachel offers up her maidservant, Bilhah, who pops out a couple sons for Jacob. Leah sees this and says, well I’ll give him my maidservant, too. So her maidservant, Zilpah has a couple of boys. Then Leah decides she’s still got it so she has two more baby boys (and a girl Dinah who stirs up some drama later). Then finally 10 baby boys later his beloved Rachel finally has a son, Joseph. And later on has another one named Benjamin. Here are the 12 tribes of Israel…fascinating.
To dive a little deeper.. let’s start with Reuben, the first born to Jacob. He ends up sleeping with Bilhah, one of his brothers’ mothers.
Then we have Simeon and Levi, the big brothers of Dinah. This guy sees Dinah and decides he has to have her, so he sleeps with her. Then he goes to her father and brothers and asks for permission to marry her. The brothers are furious, so the devise this plan against him. They give him their blessing attached to a couple conditions.. not only does he have to get circumcised but his entire village must do the same. Then while the whole town is recovering from their “surgery”, Simeon and Levi go in and destroy everyone insight by sword.
The fourth born, Judah messes up too. This is, to date, one of my favorite Old Testament stories. Judah has three sons; Er, Onan and Shelah. Er marries a girl by the name of Tamar. Then because of Er wickedness God strikes him down. So Tamar is given to Onan in marriage, who is also struck down. So Judah promises his youngest son, Shelah to the twice now widow, Tamar. But Judah doesn’t follow through on this promise. So Tamar pretends to be a prostitute and sleeps with Judah. When Judah hears of his daughter-in-law’s pregnancy he orders her death (not knowing he’s the baby daddy)… SURPRIZE, you ARE the father. So Tamar goes onto have twins (Zerah and Perez). Perez actually sticks his arm out first, but Zerah beats him out. (Birth order was such a big deal back then they fought about it at the ripe age of ZERO..craziness)
Jump a couple sons down to Joseph. Joseph was his daddy’s favorite, because he was born to Rachel (daddy’s other favorite). The brothers hated Joseph so much that they plotted murder, but opted for the less messy, by selling him into slavery. Now even though Joseph was dealt a couple crappy cards (slavery and jailtime, just to name a few) he was a great guy; truly blessed and everything he touched seemed to work out for him. Apparently, he decoded dreams in his spare time, which landed him in control of Egypt. Now from this line, the boys of Jacob; to be more specific, the line of Judah (the fourth born).. came some pretty big names; Boaz, Obed, Jesse, DAVID, Solomon… right on down to Joseph the husband of Mary and father to (insert drumroll) JESUS.
In reading through the Samuels and 1 & 2 Kings, I picked up a few things. David was a man of God’s own heart. That’s huge. I constantly ask myself, what made David so special? He came from the dysfunctional line of Judah and his fake prostitute. He himself commented adultery with Bathsheba and then had her husband murdered to cover it up. Why David? Why the line of Judah?
I’m pulling this out of my memory bank, so it’s a lil fuzzy; but around the time of Solomon (David’s son) the kingdom starts to crumble and under his son Rehoboam the kingdom is divided into Israel and Judah. I’m not sure why, but God continued to bless the house of Judah. The Kings of Israel's rulings were quick, and shady.. they all turn from God. But the kingdom of Judah remains in the family. The kingdom of Israel jumps from person, to person.. never really carrying over more than two generations. Father comes into rule, dies, gives kingdom to son… shortly after the kingdom is taken from the son and so the cycle continues. So why the line of Judah? I was really struggling with this. I knew there had to be something there, but I couldn’t shake it. Why would God pick Judah? Joseph was a nice lad. Why was David so special? He was corrupt, too. Jesus was perfect in every way, why not give him a family tree worth bragging about?
Then a wise man (my boyfriend) gave me a verse that brought everything around full circle. “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” 1 Corinthians 1:27
It all makes perfect sense. Ready for the conclusion to my longwinded epiphany? We wouldn’t know God’s glory if it weren’t for sin. We wouldn’t appreciate His grace, if it had come so easy to the “perfect”. Adam… sinner. Judah… sinner. David… sinner. Solomon… sinner. And so the story continues on down to the authors of the new testament. Disciples.. sinners. Paul… sinner. It makes God’s glory and the perfect life of Jesus Christ shine so bright, I can’t avoid the cheesy light bulb illumination on my face. Why was David so special? David realized the enormity of his inequities and praised God for all of His holiness and righteousness and glory. David desired God, pursued God, praised God despite his own hang-ups. His psalms ring with the cry of the seeker and the glad shout of the finder.
Monday, October 29, 2007
truth is absolutely absolute.
“But what about relativism? It poses as humble by saying: “We are not smart enough to know what the truth is—or if there is any universal truth.” It sounds humble. But look carefully at what is happening. It’s like a servant saying: I am not smart enough to know which person here is my master—or if I even have a master. The result is that I don’t have a master and I can be my own master. That is in reality what happens to relativists: In claiming to be too lowly to know the truth, they exalt themselves as supreme arbiter of what they can think and do. This is not humility. This is the essence of pride. The only way pride can be conquered in us is for us to believe in Truth and be conquered by it so that it rules us, and we don’t rule it.”
I only start with that, because I had originally planned to head up my post for truth with a disclaimer that I don’t know all the answers. So, that was personally convicting, to say the least. I can and will say that there are much wiser on the subject than I. But, I know enough. I know that the Bible is the Word of God, fully inspired and without error in the original manuscripts, written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and that it has supreme authority in all matters of faith and conduct. (2 Timothy 3:16)
I write this not to evangelize. I write this primarily for the eyes of my Christian brothers and sisters. This is me urging you to pursue Truth. To examine doctrine and find out what the Bible says about different issues. And follow up with this by living a life worthy to our calling. It’s not a newsflash that the Christian life we live has meshed so close with the secular world that it’s hard to distinguish a difference between the two. When we accepted Christ into our hearts, we didn’t get perfect… we just got forgiven. (I said that with a southern Baptist Bible man accent.)
I am completely aware of the fact that even as Christians we sin on a regular basis. What I cannot wrap my arms around is the art form of passivity and relativism that has been adapted and accepted by so many Bible-reading, Jesus-following believers. Trust no man. (Isaiah 2:22; Acts 17:11) Yet, with so many gifted speakers and best-selling books out there we are quick to jump on Christian bandwagons, myself included. My urgency is not in the act, but in everything, we should hold it up to the Word of God. Yes, it made you think, or convicted you, or ‘changed your life’; but can it be backed scripturally? Otherwise it is vain and futile.
A wise man once told me that even Jenny Craig changes lives. That made me giggle; but it’s true. Don’t hear me wrong, I am 100% on board for changed lives and good works, but I also believe that unless it is done in the name of Jesus Christ we have largely, HUGELY, MASIVELY missed the point.
I love Jesus. I believe in God. But for a scary amount of time that was all I owned up to. My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). How encouraging is that? God calls us to be knowledgeable. A blind faith is not good enough for Him either. Ask the hard questions. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have (1 Peter 3:15).
Do you believe the Bible is the Word of God, fully inspired and without error?
Do you believe in the Trinity?
Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
His virgin birth?
Sinless life?
Miracles and teachings?
His substitutionary atoning death?
His bodily resurrection and ascension into heaven?
Oh so many issues that people have managed to skirt around or avoid answering as to not offend or disagree with anyone. I hate to break it to you, but there are very clear answers to each matter in the Bible. Don’t by any means hear that I am saying to go out and look for a fight. But in a quiet place, search your heart, read the scriptures and ask yourselves the hard questions. Pray for wisdom and clarity. And then you had better take a side, come to a divinely inspired conclusion. We are destroyed by lack of knowledge. If there is doubt, we are like a wave tossed in the sea. What do you believe in? What do you stand for? And more importantly are you ready to be bold in the name of Christ?
I only start with that, because I had originally planned to head up my post for truth with a disclaimer that I don’t know all the answers. So, that was personally convicting, to say the least. I can and will say that there are much wiser on the subject than I. But, I know enough. I know that the Bible is the Word of God, fully inspired and without error in the original manuscripts, written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and that it has supreme authority in all matters of faith and conduct. (2 Timothy 3:16)
I write this not to evangelize. I write this primarily for the eyes of my Christian brothers and sisters. This is me urging you to pursue Truth. To examine doctrine and find out what the Bible says about different issues. And follow up with this by living a life worthy to our calling. It’s not a newsflash that the Christian life we live has meshed so close with the secular world that it’s hard to distinguish a difference between the two. When we accepted Christ into our hearts, we didn’t get perfect… we just got forgiven. (I said that with a southern Baptist Bible man accent.)
I am completely aware of the fact that even as Christians we sin on a regular basis. What I cannot wrap my arms around is the art form of passivity and relativism that has been adapted and accepted by so many Bible-reading, Jesus-following believers. Trust no man. (Isaiah 2:22; Acts 17:11) Yet, with so many gifted speakers and best-selling books out there we are quick to jump on Christian bandwagons, myself included. My urgency is not in the act, but in everything, we should hold it up to the Word of God. Yes, it made you think, or convicted you, or ‘changed your life’; but can it be backed scripturally? Otherwise it is vain and futile.
A wise man once told me that even Jenny Craig changes lives. That made me giggle; but it’s true. Don’t hear me wrong, I am 100% on board for changed lives and good works, but I also believe that unless it is done in the name of Jesus Christ we have largely, HUGELY, MASIVELY missed the point.
I love Jesus. I believe in God. But for a scary amount of time that was all I owned up to. My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). How encouraging is that? God calls us to be knowledgeable. A blind faith is not good enough for Him either. Ask the hard questions. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have (1 Peter 3:15).
Do you believe the Bible is the Word of God, fully inspired and without error?
Do you believe in the Trinity?
Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
His virgin birth?
Sinless life?
Miracles and teachings?
His substitutionary atoning death?
His bodily resurrection and ascension into heaven?
Oh so many issues that people have managed to skirt around or avoid answering as to not offend or disagree with anyone. I hate to break it to you, but there are very clear answers to each matter in the Bible. Don’t by any means hear that I am saying to go out and look for a fight. But in a quiet place, search your heart, read the scriptures and ask yourselves the hard questions. Pray for wisdom and clarity. And then you had better take a side, come to a divinely inspired conclusion. We are destroyed by lack of knowledge. If there is doubt, we are like a wave tossed in the sea. What do you believe in? What do you stand for? And more importantly are you ready to be bold in the name of Christ?
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