Ugh.

Witnessing, ugh.

To be brutally honest it’s something I’ve managed to avoid successfully for many years. And I’m not talking about starting debates with non-believers over creation vs. evolution, because that can be done with relatively no humility or grace and for myself, comes from a very prideful place. I’m talking boldly announcing the name of Christ to others. I’ll shout my presidential choice from the rooftops and plaster pictures of my boyfriend all over the place unashamedly. I am a mess without my Savior, but that… that I keep to a whisper.

I’ve used my share of brilliant excuses, to say the least. Is this unsettling to anyone else? I pray this reaches you with a softened heart and a willingness to be convicted to the depths of your being.

I had a day dream, if you will.. this disgustingly convicting image haunts me. My sweet maker is coming to take me home on judgment day and I live every day accordingly. In this revelation, God sketched specific family members, coworkers, acquaintances, and very close friends. He painted every detail of their faces. As I studied each portrait, I heard Him say… “Jen, I love them so much. How much longer are you going to keep Me a secret from them?”

The image turns cold and as I look out into darkness, I hear a cry for help emerge from the once ever so vivid faces.

“Jen, you could have saved me from the wrath that is to come. Why didn’t you tell me?”

And suddenly every excuse I have grasped so tightly, for so long was ripped from my hands.