I took Enzo to the park today. This had become a regular thing for him and I. Some days we play soccer. Some days we race down the hill. Some days we pick flowers or roll in the grass. Trips to the zoo, playgrounds, and parks have quickly filled up my day planner. Today I found rest on a wooden bench and watched as Enzo entertained himself by climbing up next to me and then quickly back down, each time reaching the top with more excitement than the time before.
Today was different. Today had been the day I was scheduled to board a plane for my long anticipated trip to Italy. It had upset me to the point of sickness; but that was when I received the initial blow. Anger had masked the pain much like a band-aid would cover a gaping wound. I stared at today’s date on my phone for what seemed like the better part of a lifetime and then I tried to regain composure, realizing I-75 was not the best place to have an emotional breakdown. The battle was already lost, there was no repair. The flood gates had been breached. I ran through several nasty thoughts, far too nasty to repeat. But, nonetheless would turn the corners of my mouth upright for a split second, (the nastier the thoughts, the longer the second). As the tears began to dry I looked out over the interstate and in a light bulb moment realized today was still going to go on. Even more so, today people would suffer—suffer far worse than losing a free trip to a far away land. I pleaded with God to either make today a wonderful day, complete with blessings far too great for my mind to wrap itself around, or... teach me something. Reveal to me why I’m here working a very long shift while someone else is enjoying my prize.
I bargain with God. Some bargains might prove healthier than others. I figured this particular bargain was harmless enough. So, I went on with my day.I’ve been watching Enzo now for about a month. Everyday we go for a walk. Everyday I walk down the same street, say hi to the same people, and wave to the same cars. To be honest, I had forgotten about my previous tear fest and was content with the undeniably amazing day outside. As I pass a house only a few doors down from my starting point, I see an elderly couple who has gathered at the end of their driveway to get a glance of the ridiculously good looking child in the stroller I was pushing. The woman smiled and made noises. This was a very normal occurrence when dealing with a child as gorgeous as my main man, Enzo. Then I picked up on a minor detail. She was speaking a language other than English. I coax Enzo into putting on a little show. Old ladies dig the hand wave with the over enthusiastic “hi" combination. It worked, success was ours and we continued on. That is, until she uttered her next word…“Ciao."
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! (for story telling purposes I am pretty confident I shouted this outloud)
As soon as she shouted her Italian farewell, I wanted to crawl in a ball. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh hysterically, or cry uncontrollably. "So, let me get this straight, God… out of all people to run into that day you place an unavoidable Italian obstacle in my path?" Sounds more like a cruel joke, if you ask me. Needless to say, my cup’o’blessing was not running over, and my question had still gone unanswered. I went on to work an exhausting day. The end.
But wait, I had overlooked an epiphany, small in size and awe factor; nonetheless there was a beautiful moment on a wooden bench in the park that was worth mentioning. This particular grassy knoll was my Central Park, with a lot less people and without the coolness of being planted in the middle of a major city. As Enzo climbed up and down, I watched as the wind blew through the grass almost poetically. Millions upon millions of blades spread out before me, yet as the breeze blew over the top of them all, only a few blades were rustled by the wind. Becoming one with nature is breathtakingly intoxicating, yet ever so corny. However, it was God’s reoccurring gift to me today—a reminder that this world is made of so many of us. He watches as some of us experience hardships and others moments of ecstasy. Much like a wind blown over us, some are affected, others still stand unwavered. The view was spectacular and at the risk of sounding overdramatic, it was as captivating to me as scenes of waves breaking on a California coast and trees big enough to drive a car through. This moment of enlightenment still didn’t grant my bargain requests, but it had been quite sometime since I had seen something so beautiful as I saw sitting next to Enzo on that wooden bench in the park.
Maybe He’ll answer me tomorrow?
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